I should start wearing my glasses

The amount of time I spend staring at my computer screen must cause some damage!

So what I have been up to is finalising all my work, thinking about how I'm going to present it and lay it out.

Ive also been really thinking about what I am going to do when i finish uni. This is a decision that is literally tearing my heart apart. Why is it that I meet the man of my dreams only a few months before I am due to leave Southampton for good. I know I sound like a complete soppy idiot but anyone that knows me will know what a true romantic I am and how much I lust for the perfect man and perfect relationship. It appears that I am willing to let this jeopardize my career, would I sacrifice my life long ambition of moving to London and becoming a successful make-up artist.. Well yes, unfortunately I probably would. Ha ha I can't believe I am actually typing this bull!!!

I have talent, a talent not to be wasted in John lewis working in crappy sales. So this is what has been tormenting me the past few weeks.

On another note, I am working my way through the fashion monitor contact book. It would be so amazing to get with a great agency. I am offering to assist or shadow for a lo/no fe at the moment. Who doesn't want work for free? i have contacted 12 agencies so far, I usually give them a call first and then they ask for an email.. but then at least you can say in the email that you have spoken to them.

I also have a new job. It's working for Fake Bake as a sales demonstrator, I have to move between John Lewis and Debenhams in Southampton.. I know that this is the last thing I want to be doing but it's money at the end of day.

The past couple of weeks and me starting to believe that this industry is actually TOO DAMN DIFFICULT to succeed in has also lead me to think about perusing a career as a pole dancer. I have been having lessons for 12 weeks now and I'm not too bad, surely someone would pay to see me dance.. haha.

I saw my parents yesterday for the first time since xmas, theyre worried about me.. "Where do you see yourself in 5/10 years time" "why did you come to uni" "where has your ambition gone?!" They have kindly said though that if I get some kind of amazing work experience with the BBC they would pay for my travel, as this was my worry, how am I meant to travel to London every day for two weeks when I'm not being paid or earning any money.. So now I'm off to write some letters.

Cya